During my life I have had this crazy perception that I am supposed to strive to be good enough. I strive to be more for my family, friends, parents, children, husband, clients, even acquaintances. I push myself to be everything everyone wants me to be....and I am exhausted. I feel lost and alone....I feel abandoned, unloved, disrespected, unappreciated. I can never do enough for them!
Then it hit me! That is the Truth!
I CAN NEVER DO/BE ENOUGH FOR ANYONE!
The revelation came with a million reasons why this is so TRUE! The light bulb had finally come on!
As humans we always want more, and it seems to be hard wired into our DNA - we are always striving for more. If we didn't have this desire for more we wouldn't evolve as a species and our world wouldn't evolve. We would still be living in caves if we didn't want more. So, if we all want more, and it's intrinsic to who we are then we can't blame 'them' for the problem.
If we look at our part in it we have to admit that no one will ever be enough for us either. We will always expect our partner to be more - we want the best for them, for them to realize their potential! We want our kids to be the best they can be and we want them to be successful and happy....sometimes more than they want for themselves. We want our parents to understand us, our friends to give us more of their time and love....the list goes on. Even though we love them dearly, we still want more from them.
So if they want more from us and we want more from them.....it mustn't be 'wrong' to want more!
The greatest revelation came when I realized.....
They are allowed to want as much as they like! I am allowed to want as much as I like! We are all disappointed when we don't get what we want! I am allowed to be disappointed. They are allowed to be disappointed. This frees me up!
They are supposed to want more from me!
And what is so new to me is that I get to decide how much is enough! It's up to ME to make the choice as to what I will and won't do.
I will never be enough for them, so all I can do is stop trying to be enough, relax and do what's right for me.